


Wriggler's Card Games

by ThePrettyTomboy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Card Games, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 14:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1553981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePrettyTomboy/pseuds/ThePrettyTomboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is introduced to the glory of the Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wriggler's Card Games

**Author's Note:**

  * For [updateseventually](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=updateseventually).



> Prompt: Homestuck/YGO crossoverish thing where John loves the game and Karkat acts as if he hates it but then finds Crab Turtle and makes a deck in secret.
> 
> The setting is a ~mystery~.

Karkat glanced over John’s shoulder as he walked by. The human was staring at some playing cards that he had spread across the floor. They didn’t look any sort of cards that Karkat had seen before. These had pictures of strange creatures on the fronts of some, others depicting bizarre scenery. Their fronts came in a variety of colors, from brown to green, while the backs were a uniform brown swirl. “John, what in the grubfucking nookwhiff are those?”

Wearing the same doofy smile as always, John looked up at the troll. “They’re called  _Yu-Gi-Oh!_  cards. It was a really popular game on Earth when I was a kid.” He pulled one of the orangey-brown ones out and showed it off. The black lettering at the top of the card identified it as  _Crass Clown_. “This is one of my favorites.”

It took Karkat several moments to forcibly remove his gaze from the unsettling face of the bizarre rotund figure on the card. “What kind of inane childish bullshit is this,” he muttered to himself as he took a step back.

"I can teach you how to play if you want!" John said, his voice bright. "Dave gets mad because I use so many spells and traps."

Out of nowhere, Dave appeared behind John, making him squeak. “So, just had to come back in time and let Karkles here know that’s bullshit, John’s a big baby and doesn’t like it when I kick his ass with my _Whiptail Crow_ , ‘kay bye.” He pulled out his timetables and was gone as quickly as he had come.

Karkat’s gaze bored a hole into the empty corner of paradox space Dave left behind, his eyebrows rising so high that they threatened to come clean off his face and attach themselves to the ceiling.

John laughed the surprise encounter off, scratching the back of his neck with a bashful expression. “Okay I’m not actually very good. His  _Whiptail_ _Crow_  is dumb though, it’s only got sixteen hundred fifty attack points what’s even up with that?” He adjusted his glasses on his nose as he giggled. “You should play with me! We can pretty much alchemize whatever cards we want, so you can get a cool custom deck!”

"What are you, three sweeps old?" Karkat scoffed. "I have plenty of fine Alternian literature to occupy myself, thank you very much." He turned to leave, but not without a curious glance at the cards.

"The captchalogue code for blanks is YG0c4RdS!" John called after him. "After that just add stuff until you get the card you want!"

:::

Karkat had no fucking idea what he was doing in front of the alchemiter. He was even more puzzled by the blue-faced card in his hand. It was the embarrassing if not vaguely fascinating product of combining the captchalogue codes for the blank  _Yu-Gi-Oh!_  card, Crabdad, and one of Rose’s consorts.

Dave had been the culprit of the latter, but at least he’d had the decency to enter the room like a normal demigod, floating along in a horizontal fashion with his chin cupped in his right hand. He’d even limited his snark to a few paragraphs. Overall Karkat was impressed by his self-control.

The top of the card Karkat held read  _Crab Turtle_. The eight stars beneath its name tugged at the strings of Karkat’s collapsing and expanding bladder-based aquatic vascular system. According to its description, it required another card if he wanted to use it. Not that he did, but it felt inherently wrong to create a useless card. It wasn’t like Karkat had any  _actual_  interest in this wriggler game; he just didn’t have anything else to do at the moment. Repeating his justification in his thinkpan, Karkat set to work trying to alchemize the companion to his  _Crab Turtle_.

Hours and countless failed attempts later, Karkat stood in a sea of primarily water attribute and otherwise water themed card, holding both his  _Crab Turtle_  and its companion  _Turtle Oath_  before him, admiring the pair. Truly they were a formidable force, and along with their oceanic army would surely conquer any foe they encountered.

A gentle breeze ruffled the back of Karkat’s hair, tickling his neck. “Whatcha doing there, Karkat?”

The troll jumped forward several feet, slamming into the alchemiter. Colorful swears graced the room as he hid his cards behind his back. “Nothing you nosy nooklicker.”

"Karkat." John’s eyes looked from the floor to the troll several times, one eyebrow cocked as his face cracked into the most mischievous smirk this side of paradox space.

"They’re Dave’s, he just left," Karkat blurted out. "To uh, write one of his—"

Dave floated in on his back. “ _Lyyyying_ ,” he drawled as he disappeared out the door opposite the one through which he had entered.

Karkat felt his face fill with mutant red blood as John’s smug stare became more prolonged. The silence pressed in on Karkat’s ears, and finally he threw his hands into the air with a defeated shout. “Fucking  _fine_ , teach me your wriggler game.”

John clapped his hands gleefully, organizing the cards on the ground with the flick of a wrist.

:::

"I summon three  _Peten the Dark Clown_  in attack position and attack you directly!”

Karkat’s lips turned down into a snarl. “You can’t summon three monsters in one turn grubwipe!” He pointed at the official rulebook he had alchemized earlier. “That’s against the rules!”

A gust of wind sent the rulebook flying across the room. “Screw the rules, I have windy powers!”

John cackled as Karkat flipped the game mat over in a blind and very loud rage before stalking out of the room. “Now I fucking know why Dave won’t play with you,” he grumbled under his breath.

On cue, the blond floated by, but before he could open his mouth, Karkat grabbed his arm and pushed him, sending him careening into a wall.


End file.
